I'm feeling poetic for some reason

I'm feeling poetic, but where are the words?

Just thinking

It's been quite a long time since I wrote down my thoughts.  I feel like I haven't done it seriously since highschool.  Back then I would write about most religious topics, mainly because that is what I was really in to.  I was "saved" as a 15 year old  at Riverview Baptist church.  When I look back on it I think it was mainly because my friends were all doing it and to impress some of the pretty girls that were at the church; but for some reason after I did it, I jumped in head first.  There weren't many activities that I would pass up if they were available.  I was at church every Sunday morning, night, and every Wednesday night as well.  I was drinking in everything that was being taught to me, and was trying to change my morals and life to mimic the beliefs the church was instilling upon me.  Then I got to college.  I arrived at WBC with the intentions of being a Christian Ministries major, emphasizing in Missions.  I began noticing quickly that things were going to be different.  I would have to start learning for myself, rather than from the leaders of Riverview Baptist Church.  This was a new thing for me, and since becoming a Christian the only knowledge I had received came directly from the church. I never got the opportunity to learn things for myself.  Slowly but surely I started learning about Christianity for myself.  The more I learned, the more I doubted, the more I doubted the further I fell, until I was in a state of disbelief.  I no longer believed in something that I held so dear to me all throughout highschool.  It was very difficult for some time.  I begged and pleaded for something to click for me, but it never came.  I became content with the fact that I just didn't know what to believe in.  That contentment lasted for some time.  It lasted until someone woke me up to the fact that I at least need to know what to believe in.  Whether it be in God or something else, I can't just stay in the middle.  Slowly but surely I am trying to figure it out.  I cant say that I am leaning one way or another at the moment, but that is okay I think because at least I'm trying. 
Maybe I'll do this again sometime. Cool huh?